I Can Do Nothing!

Hello Friends!  It's been a while since I have posted on this blog.  I have missed taking intentional time to reflect on life and ministry, and share it with you.  As many of you know our little girl Anna was born on February 22nd!  We are so thankful for her and feel privileged to be her parents.  Tomorrow she will be six weeks old, and as every parent has said...time does fly!  This whole being a mom thing is awesome, but it sure is overwhelming at times.  It's a big responsibility to be the one to care for this little life.  The past six weeks a million "what if" scenarios have run through my head regarding Anna.  On top of that Drew started a new position at the church, I finished up my job at the church, we are continuing our support raising, we are moving from one house to another in a few weeks, and I am still trying to recover from my labor.  The truth is I have been trying to do all of these things on my own strength.  These are words that we as Christians say often, but yesterday I hit a wall.  I saw my sin in some pretty ugly ways!  I have been living out of fear: what if something happens to Anna, what if we don't get our support raised, what if (you fill in the blank)!  The truth of it is that my little Anna's life belongs to our Heavenly Father.  Our support account and how fast or slowly it increases is in his hands as well.  It seems though that my sin and doubt trumps these truths more often then not.  This morning I read John 15:4-5:

"Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

I was really struck with the words, "...for apart from me you can do nothing."  Ouch...but I have been trying so hard to do EVERYTHING!  I may be trying hard, but I am failing miserably.  I must abide in my Father and trust his promises and sovereignty.  As I continue to be Anna's mamma and follow our call as missionaries I must abide in my Heavenly Father knowing that apart from him I can do NOTHING!

Here is a verse from one of my favorite hymns Abide With Me that reflects these themes:

"I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me."

-Lindsey